A middle-aged man returns home
from a business trip a day early,
concerned that his wife may be
having an affair.
from a business trip a day early,
concerned that his wife may be
having an affair.
- 12月 24 週二 201318:20
What Would You Do?
- 12月 24 週二 201318:17
A Wife's Duty
A woman accompanied her husband
to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called
the wife into his office alone.
He told her, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe
disease, combined with horrible
stress . If you don't do the
following , your husband will
surely die...
to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called
the wife into his office alone.
He told her, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe
disease, combined with horrible
stress . If you don't do the
following , your husband will
surely die...
- 12月 24 週二 201318:17
An Angry Wife
A man left work one Friday afternoon
but, being payday, instead of going
home, he stayed out the whole
weekend partying with the boys
and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally got home Sunday
night, he was confronted by a very “
angry wife and was berated for
nearly two hours with a tirade
befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging
and simply said to him, "How would
you like it if you didn't see me
for two or three days?"
To which he replied,
"That would be fine with me."
Monday went by
and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came
and went with the same results.
…
…
…
…
…
Come Thursday, the swelling
went down just enough so that
he could see her a little out of
the corner of his left eye.
but, being payday, instead of going
home, he stayed out the whole
weekend partying with the boys
and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally got home Sunday
night, he was confronted by a very “
angry wife and was berated for
nearly two hours with a tirade
befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging
and simply said to him, "How would
you like it if you didn't see me
for two or three days?"
To which he replied,
"That would be fine with me."
Monday went by
and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came
and went with the same results.
…
…
…
…
…
Come Thursday, the swelling
went down just enough so that
he could see her a little out of
the corner of his left eye.
- 12月 24 週二 201318:16
Two Lost Husbands
Two guys, one old timer and one
young, are pushing their carts
around Lowe's Building Supply
Center when they collide.
The old timer says to the young guy,
”Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying
attention to where I was going. “
The young guy says,
”That's OK.
It's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too…
I can't find her
and I'm getting a little desperate. “
The old guy says,
”Well, maybe we can help each other.
What does your wife look like?”
The young guy says,
”Well, she's 24 years old,
tall, with long blonde hair,
big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs,
and she's wearing tight white shorts ,
a halter top and no bra .
What does your wife look like?”
The old timer says...
”Doesn't matter ---
let's look for yours.”
young, are pushing their carts
around Lowe's Building Supply
Center when they collide.
The old timer says to the young guy,
”Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying
attention to where I was going. “
The young guy says,
”That's OK.
It's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too…
I can't find her
and I'm getting a little desperate. “
The old guy says,
”Well, maybe we can help each other.
What does your wife look like?”
The young guy says,
”Well, she's 24 years old,
tall, with long blonde hair,
big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs,
and she's wearing tight white shorts ,
a halter top and no bra .
What does your wife look like?”
The old timer says...
”Doesn't matter ---
let's look for yours.”
- 12月 24 週二 201318:15
The Guardian Angel
A man was walking in the street
when he heard a voice: "Stop!
Stand still! If you take one more
step, a brick will fall down on your
head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick
fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile
he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted:
"Stop! Stand still! If you take one
more step a car will run over you
and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed,
just as a car came careening around
the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked.
"Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel",
the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?"
…
…
…
…
…
the man asked.
"And where the hell were you
when I got married?"
when he heard a voice: "Stop!
Stand still! If you take one more
step, a brick will fall down on your
head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick
fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile
he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted:
"Stop! Stand still! If you take one
more step a car will run over you
and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed,
just as a car came careening around
the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked.
"Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel",
the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?"
…
…
…
…
…
the man asked.
"And where the hell were you
when I got married?"
- 12月 24 週二 201318:14
Divorce Settlement
A married couple is driving along
a highway doing a steady forty miles
per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel. Her
husband suddenly looks across at
her and speaks in a clear voice.
a highway doing a steady forty miles
per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel. Her
husband suddenly looks across at
her and speaks in a clear voice.
- 12月 24 週二 201318:14
Over The Honeymoon
The Honeymoon is over
When honeymoon is over,
the husband calls home to say
he'll be late for dinner
and the answering machine says
......
......
......
......
......
it is in the microwave.
When honeymoon is over,
the husband calls home to say
he'll be late for dinner
and the answering machine says
......
......
......
......
......
it is in the microwave.
- 12月 24 週二 201318:12
Who's Tough Enough
The CIA had an opening
for an assassin.
After all of the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done,
there were three finalists,
two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents
took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
The agent said, “We must know
that you will follow your instructions,
no matter what the circumstances.
Inside of this room you will find
your wife sitting in a chair.
Kill her!”
The man said, “You can't be serious.
I could never shoot my wife.”
The agent said, “Then you're not
the right man for this job.”
The second man was given
the same instructions. He
took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes.
Then the man came out with tears
in his eyes. The man said, “I tried,
but I can't kill my wife.”
The agent said, “You don't have
what it takes. Take your wife
and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the
gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard one shot after
another. They also heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there
stood the woman. Hilary wiped
the sweat from her brow and said,
......
......
......
......
......
“You guys didn't tell me the gun
was loaded with blanks. I had to
beat him to death with the chair.”
for an assassin.
After all of the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done,
there were three finalists,
two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents
took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
The agent said, “We must know
that you will follow your instructions,
no matter what the circumstances.
Inside of this room you will find
your wife sitting in a chair.
Kill her!”
The man said, “You can't be serious.
I could never shoot my wife.”
The agent said, “Then you're not
the right man for this job.”
The second man was given
the same instructions. He
took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes.
Then the man came out with tears
in his eyes. The man said, “I tried,
but I can't kill my wife.”
The agent said, “You don't have
what it takes. Take your wife
and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the
gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard one shot after
another. They also heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there
stood the woman. Hilary wiped
the sweat from her brow and said,
......
......
......
......
......
“You guys didn't tell me the gun
was loaded with blanks. I had to
beat him to death with the chair.”
- 11月 08 週五 201319:51
樂讀英文筆記~樂讀英文小班開課
星期三下午, 4個天真可愛的低年級小朋友上了他們第一堂的樂讀英文課. 小三的幾個高徒比學弟妹還興奮. Apple, Alice, Kiwi & Jeremy, 4個孩子是最理想的小班級經營模式. 果然這些小小孩對英文都還不太熟, 正好做聽力與發音訓練! 進度放慢¸再重覆, 加強印象卻不能單調喔! 本來準備的bingo card, 現在真的用不到. 為了遊戲, 這幾個小寶貝應該會甘願把單字唸熟, 不小心就記起來了~
- 11月 05 週二 201321:42
great sentences
1. Great minds think alike. 英雄所見略同。
2. God's mill grinds slow but sure. 善有善報，惡有惡報；不是不報，時候未到.
2. God's mill grinds slow but sure. 善有善報，惡有惡報；不是不報，時候未到.
